这年头很难找到个呆子

也不是没遇上过，可是呆得如此境界的，还真是稀有。

昨晚巧遇故友，好不兴奋。

就如初识，对方谈起话时，中气依然十足，噼哩啪啦，快而不急，排山倒海。

平时嘴皮还蛮溜的，可遇上这非等闲之辈，唯有弃权投降，静观惟妙。

谈得兴起时，对方还会挨过身来，

再使出降龙十八掌往我大腿一击，接着是悦耳震撼的雷公笑声。

言谈间，忽然冷不防地被对方抛了句。。。

“你怎么还单身？”

先是一愣，再回过神来，千万个理由顿时卡在喉间，无言以对。

故友皱了皱眉，再定睛一望，像是能从我脸上段侧个来龙去脉。

“你是个呆子。这年头少有的呆子。绝种咯。”

我当时可是丈二和尚，摸不着头脑，听得我一头雾水。

故友深知我的旧情史，先是刻意故作玄虚，再不经意地透露了另一故友的近况。

“你们初识时，你还在念书。你说过，一开始你就已经。。。到后来对方有了伴，你还是。。。后来他们分开了，你又没有。。。你怎么那么呆啊？”

我苦笑了不一会儿，故友又补上了几句。。。

“这些年来，我不在你身边，你在恋爱的道路上还是一直扮演呆子的角色吗？

我顿了顿，也不晓得该说些什么，只怕越描越黑。

霎那间，

我忆起外婆对外公的长情，

忆起她对他始终如一的深情，

忆起那经过岁月洗礼，虽阴阳相隔，仍坚定的爱情，

我回了一句。。。

“当我喜欢一个人，我可以一辈子的去爱对方，爱到天长地久、爱到天荒地老，甚至爱到死去活来，因为我是个终极呆子！”

待续。。。

那天和老同学闲话家常，提到现在的父母和孩子的沟通方式不如过去单调乏味。我父母虽不属封建派，倒也保守得很。小时候好奇心强，脑袋又经常爱天马行空拼凑一些难度高的问题戳一戳他们的锐气。也不晓得父母当时是否专心聆听，因为通常遇上怪题或尴尬题，总是先愣上个老半天，再回过神来，手心不是拍拍肩膀就是轻拍后脑。。。

“你现在还小，长大后就懂了。”

类似的官方回复有时也层出不穷，让人气馁。典型的官方回复就有。。。

“大人的事你不懂得啦。”

“现在很忙，待空闲些再回答你。”

“去问问你的老师，下了课才问，这样才不会干扰到其它同学。”

有一回就被这官方答复给拖累，害得我皮开肉绽，泪洒满脸。说实在的，童年时倒也纯真还略带几分呆，不像现在较为精明。

当天早上，赶紧把剩余的功课做完，好有更多时间到处游荡。跟往常一样，我都会与一群同龄男生在草场踢足球。现在假如对X战警提起当年自己可是小学学校代表，大伙可会笑翻腰。后来回到家，随手在冰箱拿了一包饮料就大口大口地喝下。不一会儿，家人嚷着说有电话找我，叫我去接听。起初也只是聊到一些课堂的趣事，而在快要结束谈话时，随口抛了一句。。。

“等会儿，你几点回到学校？”

“我不舒服，妈说我今天不用上学。”

“这么棒！那你会做些什么？”

“下午应该会。。玩。。飞机咯。哦，妈叫我了，再见！”

恰巧这时哥哥在楼上喊道：“喂，你打完没？”

而刚好那“打”字掩盖了同学的那关键字“玩”。就这样，我听到同学的回复好像是。。。

“等会儿没事做，就。。打。。飞机咯。哦，妈叫我了，再见！”

打飞机？心想一定是很好玩的新奇东西，可又不晓得是什么，唯有尝试去问问个究竟。一如往常，父
母刚好忙得不可开交，恰巧妈妈放下手上的工作，在抽屉翻找什么似的，便趁这机会趋前几步，待她回过头来，与我四目交望那一刻，提出了。。。

“妈，什么是打。。。”

“功课做完没？”

“都做完了。我想问你一个问题。”

“妈现在没空，你把问题记住了，等会儿到了学校问老师好不好？”

就这样我糊里糊涂地携带了一枚超级致命导弹去了学校。如同父母的叮咛，我下了课去找了老师，再把问题抛出去。老师当场一愣，脸如乌碳，眼如虎豹别墅十八层地狱的鬼差。就这样我那双玉腿顿成斑马。

“妈，老师要你来学校一趟。。。”

就这样，当晚伤痕累累，至此开窍了，也不敢再鲁曼碰撞，行事都略带谨慎，免得真沦为一匹人身斑马皮的怪物，呵呵。

待续。。。

怪人见多了，尤其厌恶一些输不起的人。潇洒的说法应该是没风度，而有内涵的说法则是没修养，那。。。把祖宗十八代都帮上台面的说法则属没教养吧。昨天也许霉运当头，碰巧在社交网站遇上此等怪胎。所谓话不投机半句多，跟一些缺乏品德修养的人交谈还是能免则免，免得自讨苦吃。

对，有时候忍一时风平浪静，退一步则海阔天空，你敬我一尺，我敬你一丈，那是与大智慧者交涉，互相敬重而持有的君子风范。但遇上内涵如同空瓶的人，可得另当别论咯！事情的来龙去脉如下。。。

昨天闲来无事，往社交网一游。一进闸门，立刻迎来几则简讯；有玉树临风的，有饥饿如狼的，又有黑漆马污的，更有终极恶心的，可说五花八门。随手一按，图片看似亲切友善，笑容不拘，可话匣子一打开，我有股冲动想把这庸俗的家伙扔进海里喂食鲨鱼。不但一声礼貌的问候也没有，还理直气壮地再三审问。。。

“你确认照片里的人是你吗？”

“再发一张照片给我。”

连基本的礼貌也没，还嚣张的让人不可忍受。与其诸多生事，不如息事宁人，我婉转而客气地给以回复

“谢谢你的简讯。对不起，你不是我杯中之饮，希望你能谅解。”

不到一会儿，再收到一则同人发的简讯，心中有数，此人绝非善人，不会就此罢休。果然不出我说料，这回还。。。

“有什么了不起？”

“跩什么跩。。。”

接下来便是几行入目不堪的秽语与诅咒，我顿了顿，便迅速回复对方的挑拨。

“感谢你极度粗俗的问候，因它毫无保留地显示你个人的品德修养，实属超低级，毋庸置疑！再说，我没什么了不起，只是懂得在适当的时候勇于拒绝一些无耻之徒。玉树临风不一定永远是赢家，要赢就得先领悟输得起的哲学，瞧你这胸大无脑、脑袋生草，也难修正果啦。”

待续。。。

Recently spend more time talking to mum, especially during her recovery stage where she had a surgery a fortnight ago. Before the surgery, mum and dad was not really in good term, as dad has been a tricky person to deal with as he ages. In fact dad only visited her 3 days later after her surgery.  And strangely, for the past few days, dad started to pick up conversation with mum. To be honest, dad is totally not a romantic person, but there is one particular act which I always think that is probably the only romantic juice dad had with him.

Be it day or night, dad will pick up the newspaper and read the news, digest them and relate to mum one after another. Since don’t know when this has stopped for a couple of years until a few days ago I saw dad picking up the newspaper, and read to mum again. That day, I went to mum and asked her something which I never able to ask. As you know mum always treat me like Osama, before I could even ask something, she will start triggering missiles and aim at me.

Monster: Do you recall the coin pouch with all the old coins inside that Ah Ma gave to me, the one that Ah Gong passed to her?

Mum: Of course I remember, that was one of your Ah Ma most precious gifts that Ah Gong had given to her. She counted the coins every night, not as if there were missing coins, but she used the time spent on counting the coins to remember all the good times she spent with your Ah Gong.

Monster: She counted for more than 50 years until she decided to pass to me. Actually did dad give you anything memorable?

Mum looked down for a while, like trying to recall something. Then she slowly lifted her chin up again and squeezed out a bitter smile, and eyes were looking elsewhere without saying a word. For a moment, I regretted and rather hate myself for asking that question. Then she stood up from the sofa, picking his walking stick with her right arm and started walking towards her bed room. And after a few steps her left arm lifted up and waved forward, signaling me to follow her. She walked to the drawer, and took out an envelope, then moved to the bed and sat down.

Mum: He took me to the studio to take these 3 photos. I could still remember before that, he took me to the salon to set my hair into those beehive style, which was popular during then, I think that hair style was called ah gogo princess, something like that.

Monster: Really? How come you two never take a picture together?

Mum: Unfortunately the moment I was about to step out of the salon and it started to rain. I was afraid that the rain would ruin my hair style so I told him to cancel the photo shot. Suddenly he asked me to wait for him inside the salon while he quickly ran out of the salon and returned with an umbrella.

Monster: Then how then how?

Mum: He was tut tut when he was young, not a romantic person, but I think I was moved by his sincere act. He was already wet when he reached the salon but it got worse when the umbrella was not big enough to cover two persons. He sacrificed half of his body under the rain while I was dried all the way to the studio. He was too wet and messy to take a photo with me then

Monster: No wonder, I could simply imagine that.

Mum: I kept the umbrella with me for very long. The umbrella has accompanied me of many sad and down moments, it was something which would bring a sense of sweetness in me when I think back how he did all those silly things for me. The umbrella was misplaced one day and forever disappeared in front of my eyes…

Monster: Oh…at least you still have these 3 photos…

Mum: It’s different son, these photo can never replaced the umbrella physical feel, as each time I touch it, I would be like going back to the past, to where he rushed back to the salon with an umbrella and sheltered me to the studio, that was the sweetest moment…

 Perhaps it was Ah Ma who passed this sentimental gene to mum, and somehow rather I think I too have inherited this from them. A picture doesn’t always speak a thousand words, sometimes it’s the thing, the touch and feel of it makes it precious, and making memories 刻骨铭心！
 

To be continued...

That night I met Judy to celebrate her hatch day. I’ve not seen her for ages, and she was surprised that I turned up for her hatch day party and couldn’t stop telling her friends that I was her virgin boyfriend. Technically she was right, as when I first know her, the word ‘sex’ to me only based on the porn that I secretly watched with my classmates when my parents were at work. Sometimes in the middle of those eclipse nights, werewolf horny nights I called it, with one hand holding the tv remote, and the other with the player remote.

I’ve not seen Judy for ages as I’ve already mentioned. There’s always a mixture of feelings whenever I see her. Not that I dislike her, I certainly like her, love her, but whenever we are together, she will casually bring up another name, another close friend of ours.

I’ve not drink for pretty long but that night was exceptional. And drinking with Judy was fun as the moment she passed me the glass of Jack Daniel coke over to me, she stared straights into my eyes, leaning forward to my left ear and whispered…

Judy : Bottoms up for your first drink…boh tar boh lam par.

She poured another full glass right after I finished it, and this time round I could taste that the whiskey was stronger, thicker than the initial one. Again she took her glass and gently hit at the rim of my short glass and finished her glass straight away. She winked at me to signal me to drink mine, while her other hand was already holding the bottle of JD, preparing to make me another glass.

Monster: Hold hold hold…I have my lam par and my lan jiao now, I’m satisfied, let’s take it slow yah…

I looked at her closely, amazed with how time never change a little of her face, except that anything below her neck was like what she told me…

Judy : I’m a cover girl, so just focus on my face.

And after a few drinks, or more than a few, probably she already finished a bottle, and started asking me about our close friend, Ed.

Judy : Do you still contact with Ed, I’ve not seen Ed for so long?

Monster : No, I too have no news of Ed.

Judy : I missed Ed, such a fun person…

Monster : I missed Ed too (more than you have ever imagined)

She stopped me for a moment and walked to grab her Miu Miu bag over. Then she shoved her hand into the bag and dug out her mobile, slide open it and showed me a photo…

Judy : Look, I still have the photo we took together…

Everything just flashed back my mind and I took my mobile out, flashing to her of a photo I took with Ed where Ed was grabbing me from behind while I was covering my hands to cover my face…

Judy : Oh this is so sweet. Lucky you are normal, else I would have thought that you two were Xmen then, caused you two were always so closed together. Even when come over my place to sleep, and you both rather squeezed in that single size mattress which placed besides my bed, than sharing the queen size bed with me.

Monster : Really? I couldn’t recall…(pretending and showing a blur fuck expression)

Judy : I wonder how is Ed now?

Monster : So am I…but I think sometimes even if we wanted so much to bring back the sweet memories, which may no longer be the same as it used to be, or perhaps already turned bitter. So it would be that they continue to remain as sweet old memories, isn’t it?

To be continued….

I have a gal friend that will post her child progress in facebook since the day he was born. I would say, there wasn’t such technology available during my childhood time. Even if there were traditional analog camera, they were mainly used for occasional big days, such as birthday or special big gathering, and just snapped a few pathetic photos. Unlike now, you can snap until an ugly photo turns charming, and even if it doesn’t, it can still be safed by technology. That’s the reason why all the old photos usually makes you look like a virgin.

And because of that, we don’t have much childhood memorable pictures like our first time we started crawling, our first attempt to walk, and even our first time calling either our daddy or mummy, if there’s video cam or smart phone available. All we know is probably through words from our parents, and that only happens if it’s a small family, with only one or two kids. Like me? Imagine our parents having 5 kids, I don’t think they could remember which day we started walking, how was each individual expression and encounters. Did everyone just manage to really walk with perfect balanced, or one of us repeatedly fell and struggling his way for just a short distance? Seriously, there were no hard copy records, be it photograph or little notes or diary, neither did I hear anything regarded that verbally.

So sometimes I think I may be different from other kids. For them, they probably started out with crawling and then walking and wobbling along the way. As for me, I still started with some crawling part, but maybe for the walking part, I may be a little more dramatic than the rest of the kids by sashaying my way to make my entrance. And if there’s a camera that capture that moment, it would probably be the solid evidence of how Xmen origin for Monster. As during the time when you started to become an Xmen, this question will repeatedly humming around your ears…

“So how did you turn into an Xmen?”

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could excuse that person for a moment where you took out your smart phone and flashed out the photo gallery where you have pre-snapped the old photo of yours making a sashay moves…

“Look, the date stated in the photo shows 19xx/xx/xx, that’s when it all begins…”

The strange thing about human is what we missed in the past somehow rather we could make it up in the future. Yesterday, I went to the hospital early as I have a physio appointment with the physiotherapist. I reached the ward on time and mum was telling me that she was a little worried that she may not be able to do her first walk with the support tool after her right kneecap replacement surgery. I calmed her down that I will be going through this with her, and told her that it’s just like the way she and dad went through my first walking lesson when I was a kid.

I listened carefully of what the physiotherapist has taught me, and slowly prepared for mum’s first move. With the four legs supporting tool placed besides her bed, she pressed the button at the side of her bed where the upper part of the bed inclined slowly so that she could adjust herself in a sitting position. She moved her legs firmly down on the ground, and placed her hands onto the supporting tool hand grips.

“Mum, get ready to use your arm power to lift up your body, and always remember to make your first move and your last move with your good leg, that is, your left leg.”

Mum was pretty strong with her arms and could lift her body up pretty quick and stood for a few second to check her balance, to check her grips. She started moving, one step after another, almost as slow as a tortoise, but firmly. In the process, I was just right behind her, watching her balance, preparing to catch her if she loses her balance. I have to admit that I almost tear out to see her walk. And when she finally walked back to her bed and sat down, the therapist and the rest of the patients sharing the same ward clapped their hands, including myself. I couldn’t really able to hold (unlike a recent bday boy who can HOLD 住) that overwhelming joy in me that I pretended that I needed to pee and quickly excused myself out of the ward and cleared off my tears…

I went back in shortly, smiling and encouraging mum to make more practice and I couldn’t help but wondering what was it like when I first started to learn to walk…and so I asked mum…

Monster : Mum, do you still remember how I look like when I first started walking as a baby?

Mum : Hmm…I don’t really recall, it was so many years ago, but I think I was very happy to see your first walk, so was the rest of your brothers…

Monster : Oh ok…hmm…if you were happy, that means we must have done something good in our first walk.

Just when I thought that the visiting ended with a peaceful, joyful, touching feel, and mum just like to give it a twist…

Mum : I’ve been here for a few days, you sure you don’t have anyone to bring over and visit mum? Or any soup by that person that ask you to bring over?”

That’s mum…what to do…J

I think I have been forgotten for a very long time, perhaps...

To be continued...

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Someone sent a massage to me through the black mask application. Usually I will reply a polite hi or how're you doing...for this person, I went directly and asked...
"Are you Armani?"

That's the name we called him as this person always wore Armani from tip to toe. Yet the person denied knowing me. To ensure that my memory didn't fade, I purposely snap the picture and quickly sent to my two closest classmates where I made up a story that I met someone who looked like Armani in a friend's birthday party...

"I saw this person that looked a bit like our Armani in a friend party"

Classmate A : what a bit, the person is exactly Armani

Classmate B: it's Armani, no horse run, 99.99%

I don't know why the person denied knowing me yet initiated a message and continued to ask if a friendship is possible...seriously, what does this person wants when on one hand denying the identity while the other hand wanna make friend with me...

I didn't show any meat in my pic, and if I do, maybe I could say the meat is the root cause...strange...

And I am surprises of my behavior, I don't even brother if the person knows that I'm XMen cos I think I'm kind of attaining 金钢不坏之身.

To be continued...

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